Spring naar content

If I could

If I Could Cheyenne oudswaard

If I could                                            


If I could be immortal

Like a river, however, the rivers dry up

Like a forest, however, the forests are

gutted by fire

like a mountain

or an ocean


Oh nature

give me immortality

I was made of dirt

no grass grows on my skin

I only water myself

and only the ego grows up in me


Oh nature

you have no door, no roof

no locks or keys

let me fall into your arms like a mist

take me by the hand like a stream

and chuck me to the depths of the sea

to fade in its darkness


I'm alone like a drop of water

on a rose petal

yet a dewdrop doesn’t arouse the dawn

just as one flower doesn't provoke the spring


My dear nature

teach me a new language

like the breeze, the tree rustling,

or even the chatters of a woodpecker

I promise not to cut your wood

to write on it as papers



Let me rise from the river's edge to the stars

give me a beam of moonlight

and a lantern of fireflies

as a present for my birthday


I want to be blue

to extend from the sea to the sky

or to be green above the treetops

release me from the skin tone

free me from human names


Here I approach you

leaving my feet sinking into the mud

I got rid of my name and my ID

I came to you drifting from the desert wind

feverish with agony

thirsty for a sip of water


Reaching for the shadow of the tree

nature, allow me to touch its bark

I will untie my braid

may its twigs bind us


Oh nature

take me to you

I stood all day in the rain

I believed I would dissolve into the flowing water

and would vanish in the root of a tree

we might become friends


What a pity, they found me

drenched in tears.

Text: ©Randa Awad 

Image: ©Cheyenne Goudswaard